So it’s happened, the break up! The moment you thought wouldn’t effect you or it’s the moment you have dreaded? Either way, it doesn’t matter what side you are on, a break up is never an easy experience.
A few years ago I had that experience, you know the one, the feeling of wanting to be curled up in a ball for the rest of your life and stare at nothing but the wall for hours, that feeling of the unknown, where will my life go from here? What went wrong? Why me? I can’t go on any longer, when being asleep was easier than being awake. People would constantly tell me that time will heal all, but I didn’t want time, I wanted to feel better now! I wanted to feel happy again, what did happiness even feel like? After I went through the initial stage of sadness, I began to question myself. I didn’t know who I was or what I even really enjoyed in life, I had allowed my relationship to absolutely suck my individuality right from me!
I continuously went down the self destruction path. I was angry and sad and confused and getting really really drunk on the weekends, I was irritated easily and wanted to be in my own little bubble and just be sad. Sound familiar?
That being said, I think this is important, I think it’s important to allow yourself to just feel the emotions as they happen, feel the sadness and also feel and recognise the times you feel happiness, don't just push these emotions down like they don't exist, let them out and let them go.
However, there comes a day when we MUST take action, we MUST rise above a situation that happened to us and decide to keep on living! You see I realised that I was missing out on all the beautiful things that life had to offer and although it was important to be sad and feel everything, I was also missing out on genuine connective times with my family and my friends and people who really cared about me, all because of one thing that happened to me. That wasn’t fair on them or myself. I
made a promise to myself that day that I would start a self discovery period of my life, I was going to begin finding out exactly who I was and living in every moment and since that moment I haven’t stopped and never will.
One of the most important things I have learnt throughout this journey is to be 100% true to your feelings, identify the feeling and let it come and pass, then move on. This thing that happened doesn’t define you as a human being, don’t allow it to become what you identify with as there’s so much more waiting for you to uncover, there’s so much life to be lived and experiences to be had and you’re only just scratching the surface!
Focus on something that makes you happy, whether that be fitness, travel or even your future career goals, focus on that and make you the best you and the happiest you there has ever been.
Key goal here - learn who you are and never let go of that.
I thought this feeling would never pass and believe me when I say, it took me a very long time to come to terms with my new life that was thrust upon me, but here I am now on a cliff lined beach in the south of Italy stuffing my face with pasta and rose happier than ever, writing this blog and looking back on times I thought would never end.
It will, it does and you must trust that this is the timing of your life.